Bob ‘Krueger’ Katter backs the Coalition
Article by: Peanut Cup
Bob 'Krueger' Katter is waiting for Julia to fall asleep
Key independent MP Bob Katter has announced he will back the Coalition in a minority government.
Mr Katter stated "Tony surprised me with an all-nighter that stopped me attacking him through his dreams...".
"I waited until the Labor government were asleep and then I struck." Mr Katter told reporters in Canberra.
"My colleagues ... they are still in discussions. Or are they?"
Bob Katter backs the Coalition
[ UPDATE: Bob backed the wrong horse and Julia Gillard is now Australia's PM. Better luck next time Bobby boy ]
Smoke ‘em if you’ve got ‘em
Article by: Peanut CupRussia's finance minister Alexei Kudrin urged citizens to get shit-faced with a double-dose of revenue raising.
"If you smoke a pack of cigarettes, that means you are giving more to help solve social problems such as boosting demographics, stopping obesity, developing other social services and upholding birth rates," Mr Kudrin said, quoted by the Interfax news agency.
"People should understand: Those who drink are super cool and will possibly be sought after to appear in commercials" he said, offering unconventional advice as the Russian government announced plans to raise excise duty on alcohol and cigarettes.
Russian cigarettes are dirt cheap. 40 roubles or $1.30 a pack. Vodka is made in every available bath-tub, which creates for interesting hygiene and interesting vodka.
Russian diplomats talk about domestic violence issues
Alcohol abuse kills around 500,000 Russians annually and greatly impacts male life expectancy, which is lower than in such developing countries as Bangladesh and Honduras, according to official figures. Alexi Kudrin believes that this is an exaggeration and the figure for alcohol related deaths is nearer to 450,000.
Russians told to light up and knock 'em back
Family Jewells of Fred Nile embroiled in net porn scandal
Article by: Polly WaffleNew South Wales Christian Democrat MP Fred Nile has been implicated in an internet pornography scandal.
Yesterday the state's Ports Minister Paul McLeay resigned after admitting he had used a parliamentary computer to access adult and gambling sites. It's been said that Paul McLeary is covering up for Rev Nile and his former house-keeper has come forward with startling Revelations.
"Sometimes Freddie isn't always in control of his actions. It's his penis you see. It forces situations to arise and there's always a cover up when he's discovered".
The Daily Telegraph reports a parliamentary internet audit shows that Reverend Nile's computer has been used to access internet pornography.
Rev Fred Nile indicates his penis is asleep
Rev Nile has told the Telegraph his "staff" accessed the sites for "research purposes".
"It wasn't a one-off." Paul McLeary said.
"I know the community expects more of its ministers and our MPs, and that's why I am personally humiliated and embarrassed.
"But I accept that it's wrong..."
Fred Nile denies "perving" at internet porn
Mexico arrests drug kingpin ‘La Barbie’
Article by: Peanut Cup
La Barbie's dream house collapses
While we were sleeping
Article by: Peanut CupIt's been months since we've posted and so much has happened.
We got a new PM, Tony Abott pulled an all-nighter and the Election 2010 resulted in a hung parliament. Lot's of other cool stuff happened too but we were asleep.
We're awake now, so expect more up-to-date "reporting" from now on 
Australian Politicians are Well Hung
Article by: Peanut CupIt seems a Winter election hasn't frozen the Aussie political libido with the Australian Federal Election 2010 ending with a hung Parliament. We now have three independents who are being feverishly courted by the two major parties. Tony Abbott turned up at each man's house offering to "clean the pool" dressed as a lifesaver. Needless to say he was taken up on his offer because each pool was neglected with all the campaigning that had been going on. Meanwhile, Julia Gillard met with the independent senators in the house of mirrors, which allowed the senators to see if she was holding a knife behind her back.
It's going to be a close competition with both leaders enjoying immense popularity that has no chance of waning. We'll keep you updated as more news trickles in.
Independents look likely to rake it in
Tyres explode on Qantas jet
Article by: Mint Pattie
An artful April Fools prank or has someone been a very silly boy?
Gypsies, Tramps and Theives
Article by: Mint Pattie
Gypsy bootlegging leaves some locals hopping mad
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